Parent Tips | Questions Asked by Youth
Parent Tips
Research supports that maintaining strong, close relationships with your kids can
help them delay becoming sexually active.
Even
though these tips are for parents, they can be used by any adult. Parents who work long hours or are single often turn to other adults for help in raising their kids. When
all these caring adults are on the same wavelength, young people are given
a strong, consistent message.
- Let your
kids know that you value education highly.
- Know what
your kids are listening to, watching, and reading.
- Be clear
about your own sexual values and attitudes.
- Talk with
your kids.
- Supervise
and monitor your kids.
- Know your
kids friends and their families.
- Discourage
early, frequent, and steady dating.
- Help your
teens have more options for the future that are more attractive than
early pregnancy and parenthood.
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Questions
asked by youth
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Why
do I have a bellybutton?
A belly button, sometimes
called a navel, is something everyone in the world has!
As a baby develops inside their mother, they floats in aminotic fluid
inside their mother's womb. While the baby is in there, they cannot breathe
air or eat food. That's where the umbilical cord comes in. The umbilical
cord is a flexible tube that carries oxygen and nutrients from the mother
to the baby. It also carries wastes away from the baby back to the mother,
so she can get rid of them. Your belly button marks the spot where your
umbilical cord was once attached.
A brand-new baby doesn't need an umbilical cord anymore. The doctor cuts
the umbilical cord and a tiny stump is left. When this stump falls off
after a few weeks, the baby is left with their very own baby belly button.
It might be an innie or an outtie.
source: kidshealth.org/kid/talk/qa/navel.html
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When
can a girl get pregnant?
A girl can get pregnant
during ovulation. Ovulation is the time during her menstrual cycle when
the egg, also called the ovum, has left the ovary and is traveling down
the fallopian tubes to the uterus. The process of ovulation takes 36 to
48 hours. If sperm is present during that time, it is likely that the
egg and sperm will unite and a pregnancy will begin.
During ovulation a woman is said to be fertile. It is impossible to predict
exactly when in the a woman's menstrual cycle that the fertile 36 to 48
hours will occur. Some women try to predict this by taking their temperature
daily; it raises during ovulation. They may try to predict this because
they are ready to raise a child and they want to become pregnant.
Note: It is common
for teenage girls to have irregular menstrual cycles. And sperm can live
inside a female's body for up to five days. So anyone who counts on certain
times of the month as being "safe" times for having sex without
birth control is taking a pretty big risk in getting pregnant.
source: kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/std/std_hiv.html, McCave, Maria. Puberty's
Wild Ride Philadelphia, PA, 2001 (p.73)
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When
will I get my period?
Although there's no
one right age for a girl to get her period, there are some clues that
menstruation will start soon. Typically, a girl gets her period 18 months
to 2 years after her breasts start to develop. Height is another clue.
Most girls have almost reached their adult height when they get their
first period. They rarely grow more than an inch or 2 after they begin
menstruating.
If you are a girl
who has already started your period, you may be wondering how long you
will get this monthly visitor. Under normal circumstances, you'll have
your period every month or so until you are in your late 40s or early
50s! Of course, if you ever have a baby, you won't have your period during
the time that you're pregnant and the baby is growing in your uterus.
In fact, your period may not return for a few months after the baby is
born, especially if you breastfeed the baby.
Menstrual periods
are a completely natural part of being a woman, so it's important that
girls understand how their bodies work. Boys don't menstruate, but they
may be curious about what menstruation is all about.
source: kidshealth.org/kid/goro/girlstuff/menstruation.html
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What is menstruation?
The menstrual period,
or monthly cycle, is when blood is discharged through the vagina. It signals
that a girl is growing up and her body is preparing so that she might
have a baby someday.
Here's what's going on: Each of a girl's two ovaries holds thousands of
eggs, which are tiny (each no bigger than the tip of a pin). During the
menstrual cycle, an egg is released from one of the ovaries and begins
a trip down one of the fallopian tubes to the uterus, also called the
womb.
Before the egg even leaves the ovary, though, the uterus builds up its
inner lining with extra blood and tissue. If the egg gets to the uterus
and is fertilized by a sperm cell, it may plant itself in that thick,
nourishing lining and grow into a baby. The baby will use that extra blood
and tissue to stay healthy and protected as it develops.
But most of the time the egg doesn't get fertilized and ends up only passing
through. When the egg doesn't get fertilized, or if the fertilized egg
doesn't become planted in the lining, the uterus no longer needs the extra
blood and tissue, so the blood leaves the body through the vagina. This
blood is known as a girl's period.
The average menstrual cycle lasts 28 to 30 days, but varies from individual
to individual. Some girls' cycles will be as short as 22 days, whereas
other girls' cycles will be as long as 35 days. A period typically lasts
5 to 7 days
source: kidshealth.org/kid/grow/girlstuff/menstruation.html
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What are tampons/sanitary pads for?
Once you get your
period, you'll need to use something to soak up the menstrual blood. Your
choices are a pad or a tampon. If you've ever seen them on the store shelves,
you know there are many varieties to choose from. How do you know which
one is right for you?
Let's start by explaining exactly what each one is.
Pads are rectangles of absorbent material that you stick to the inside
of your underwear. Some have extra material on the sides (called "wings")
that fold over the edges of your underwear to better hold the pad in place
and prevent leakage. Sometimes, pads are called sanitary pads or sanitary
napkins.
Tampons also absorb menstrual blood, but they work from inside the vagina.
A tampon is also made of absorbent material, but it's pressed tight into
a small cylinder shape. The question all girls wonder is - how do you
put them in? Some tampons have applicators, which are plastic or cardboard
tubes that help put the tampon in place. Other tampons can be inserted
using your fingers.
Many girls start out using pads, but might want to use tampons when they
do sports or go swimming. You'll want to talk to your mom or another woman
you trust when you are trying to decide which is right for you.
source: kidshealth.org/kid/grow/girlstuff/pads_tampons.html
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Why
does my penis get hard?
An erection is what
happens when your penis hardens and fills up with blood. The penis will
become bigger and stand out from the body. Boys will start to notice them
occurring more often when they reach puberty. And they're perfectly normal.
An erection can happen at any time. You can get many in one day or none
at all. It depends on your age, sexual maturity, level of activity, and
even the amount of sleep you get.
source: kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/stds/std_hiv.html
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What are wet dreams?
An erection can happen
even when you're sleeping. Sometimes you might wake up and your underwear
or bed is wet. You may worry that this means you wet your bed like when
you were little, but chances are you had a nocturnal emission, or "wet
dream." A wet dream is when semen (the fluid containing sperm) is
discharged from the penis while a boy is asleep. Semen is released through
the urethra - the same tube that urine (pee) comes out of. This is called
ejaculation.
But if you ever have pain or a problem with your penis or testicles, it
is important that someone take you to the doctor. Maybe you've injured
that area or you find you have pain during an erection.
source: kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/stds/std_hiv.html
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What
is AIDS?
AIDS is one of the
most serious, deadly diseases in human history. More than 3 million die
every year from AIDS-related illnesses.
AIDS is caused by
the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). HIV destroys a type of defense
cell in the body called a CD4 helper lymphocyte. These lymphocytes are
part of the body's immune system, the defense system that fights infectious
diseases. But as HIV destroys these lymphocytes, people with the virus
begin to get serious infections that they normally wouldn't - that is,
they become immune deficient. The name for this condition is acquired
immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS).
Half of all new HIV infections in the United States occur in people under
25 years of age, and thousands of U.S. teens become infected with HIV
each year.
As the medical community learns more about how the HIV virus works, they've
been able to develop drugs to inhibit it (meaning they interfere with
its growth). These drugs have been successful in slowing the progress
of the disease, and people with the disease now live much longer. But
there is still no cure for HIV and AIDS.
HIV can be transmitted
from an infected person to another person through blood, semen (also known
as "cum," the fluid released from the penis when a male ejaculates),
vaginal fluids, and breast milk.
The virus is spread
through high-risk behaviors including: unprotected oral, vaginal, or anal sexual intercourse ("unprotected"
means not using a condom), sharing needles, such as needles used to inject drugs (including
needles used for injecting steroids) and those used for tattooing.
·You cannot get HIV/AIDS from hugging or holding hands or from
other casual contact. HIV is not spread through sneezes or coughs, and
you cannot catch it from sitting near someone who has it. Mosquitoes and other
bugs do not carry HIV/AIDS.
It is very rare for
blood transfusions to spread HIV. All blood in the United States is carefully
tested for HIV and other infections before it can be used for transfusions.
People who have another sexually transmitted disease, such as syphilis,
genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, or bacterial vaginosis are at greater
risk for getting HIV during sex with infected partners.
source: kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/stds/std_hiv.html
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What is a virgin?
So where does this
question come from? Females who are virgins usually have a hymen, a very
thin piece of skin-like tissue that stretches partly across the opening
of the vagina. Some females may bleed slightly the first time they have
sexual intercourse because the hymen permanently breaks. But not all females
bleed the first time they have sex. That's because some girls have thinner
hymens than others, and some are born without a hymen - which is perfectly
normal.
source: kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/virgin.html
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What
does gay mean?
Here are some terms
that are commonly used, yet confusing regarding sexual orientation:
Bisexual: A person who is attracted to both sexes.
Gay: A term that can apply to either men or women who are physically
and emotionally attracted to persons of the same sex. However, it is usually
used to describe men.
Gender Identity: An individual's basic self-conviction of being
male or female. This conviction is not contingent upon the individual's
biological gender. The exact process by which boys and girls come to see
themselves as males or females is not known. However, research indicates
that gender identity develops some time between birth and 3 years of age.
GLBT: Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender
GLBTQ: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning
Heterosexual: A person who is physically and emotionally attracted
to a person of the opposite sex.
Heterosexual Privilege: The basic civil rights and social privileges
that a heterosexual person automatically receives that are systematically
denied to gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons simply because of their sexual
orientation. The assumption that all people are heterosexual.
Heterosexism: Systems and ways of thinking that reinforce a belief
in the inherent superiority of heterosexuality and heterosexual relationships,
thereby negating the lives and relationships of gays, lesbians, bisexuals
and transgendered people.
Homosexual: A person who is emotionally and physically attracted to
a person of the same sex. The term was coined in 1869 by an early psychiatrist, who used it to describe
a person who has 'an other than normal sexual urge which renders them
physically and psychically incapable.' Since the word was originally used
to describe a pathology, most gays and lesbians do not like this term
used to define them. Homosexuality per se is no longer considered an illness
by the American Psychiatric Association, nor by the American Psychological
Association, the American Medical Association, or most other reputable
professional organizations.
Lesbian: A term used to describe women that are emotionally and
physically attracted to other women.
Queer: Some people use this term to describe their sexual orientations
that are a part of the GLBT Community. It is also a derogatory term.
"Out of the Closet" / "Being Out": Means that
one states openly that one is lesbian, bisexual, gay, or transgendered,
in contrast to 'staying in the closet' by hiding or denying one's gender
identity or sexual orientation either from oneself or from others.
Sexual Orientation: The orientation within human beings, which
leads them to be emotionally and physically attracted to persons of one
gender or the other or both. One's sexual orientation may be heterosexual,
homosexual, bisexual, or asexual.
Transgender: A broad umbrella term for persons who have a self-image
or gender identity not traditionally associated with their biological
gender. Some transgender persons wish to change their anatomy to be more
congruent with their self-perception, while others do not have such a
desire. There is no absolute correlation between sexual orientation and
transgender issues. A transgender person may identify as heterosexual,
gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
Crossdresser: A person who dresses in the clothing of the opposite
biological gender.
"Drag": Dressing in the clothing of the opposite biological
sex, or in a manner different than how one will usually dress (i.e. "corporate
drag" or "military drag"). 'Drag' is often theatrical,
and often presents a stereotyped image. Individuals who dress in 'Drag'
may or may not consider themselves part of the transgender community.
They also may identify as heterosexual, gay, lesbian or bisexual.
Transsexual: A person whose gender identity is other than their
biological gender this person may wish to change their anatomy to be more
congruent with their self-perception. Most transsexuals would like to
alter their bodies through hormonal therapy, gender reassignment surgeries
or other means.
Transvestite: Often a person who may achieve sexual pleasure through
the use of clothing or personal adornments of the other gender. Often
incorrectly used inter-changeably with 'Crossdresser.' There is no correlation
between sexual orientation and transvestite behavior. Transvestites may
identify as heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual in their sexual orientation.
Note: People get
to chose their own labels and they get to decide not to label themselves.
If you do not know how to address a person's orientation or gender, ask
do not assume!
source: www.outfront.org
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What
is oral sex?
Having oral sex is
one way of expressing yourself sexually with another person. Oral sex
is kissing, licking, or sucking another person's genitals to give them
pleasure. Often you hear slang terms for oral sex, which include giving,
or getting head, going down on, and blow job.
Just like other kinds of sex, oral sex can make you feel absolutely wonderful,
but if done for the wrong reasons, it can make you feel bad or used.
Some people think that oral sex isn't a big deal like "real"
sex. It's true that a girl cannot get pregnant from it but it does have
risks. You can get sexually transmitted infections - including herpes,
syphilis, and HIV - from having oral sex with an infected partner. Use
of a condom to cover the boy's penis or a dental dam(a very thin sheet
of latex) to cover the girl's genitals can help protect you from sexually
transmitted infections.
By having oral sex you take an emotional risk as well, because giving
or receiving pleasure in this way is a very intimate experience. Some
people fell it is even more intimate than vaginal intercourse.
source: McCave, Maria. Puberty's
Wild Ride Philadelphia, PA, 2001 (p.65)
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What is abstinence?
Abstinence is not
engaging in risky sexual behavior. When a person decides to practice abstinence,
that means he or she has decided not to have sex.
Not having sex may seem easy because it's not doing anything. But peer
pressure and things you see on TV and in the movies can make the decision
to practice abstinence more difficult. If it seems like everybody else
is having sex, some teens may feel they have to do it, too, just to be
accepted. Don't let kidding or pressure from friends, a girlfriend, a
boyfriend, or even the media push you into something that's not right
for you.
A couple can still have a relationship without having sex. The people
who care about you should respect that deciding not to have sex is an
important personal choice. You might not realize it, but most teens are
not having sex.
Choosing to practice abstinence is an important decision, and you may
have questions about making this choice or about other methods of birth
control. Your doctor or nurse - or an adult you trust, such as a parent,
teacher, or counselor - can help provide some answers.
McCave, Maria. Puberty's
Wild Ride Philadelphia, PA, 2001 (p.63)
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