Connect more…with your teen’s emotions

Love, Sex, and the Adolescent Brain

Changes in the adolescent brain increases their interest in sex.
When we learn what is going on inside the teen brain, we realize that they already have sex on the mind. It doesn’t make any difference where they come from, what beliefs they have or how they were raised: the adolescent brain is interested in sex.

Be the key source of information on sex. You teen will appreciate your candor and interest.
Studies show that kids who feel they can talk with their parents about sex -- because their moms and dads speak openly and listen carefully to them -- are less likely to engage in high-risk behavior as teens than kids who do not feel they can talk with their parents about the subject.

Have on-going discussions about sex with your teen. Have these conversations when you have the time and are not rushed.
In order to get through the embarrassment you or your teen may be having over the topic, bring it up often in general conversation. Ask their opinion when you see something on TV or in the newspapers.

Be open and receptive as your teen approaches you with questions.
Conversation is a two way street. Don't be to quick to jump on their opinions even when they are seeing black where you see white. Remember, they are learning how to form opinions and then, testing them out on you.

When teens get hurt in love, offer sympathy and support
It is important to respect a child's capability to love. By denying it, a parent does two things. One, they encourage the child to seek other methods to prove their love is real and also discourage the child from loving. If a child says to you, "I'm in love" and you answer, "No you're not," you are sending the message that they should not be in love. Kids need guidance in their relationships. They need to know that their feelings are valid, important, and real.

Websites:
www.moappp.org - Minnesota Organization on Adolescent Pregnancy, Prevention and Parenting
www.advocatesforyouth.org - Advocates for Youth
http://www.talkingwithkids.org/sex.html - Talking with Kids on Tough Issues, Sex and Relationships

Books:
How to Talk to Your Child About Sex.
Eyre, Linda and Richard.
New York: GoldenBooks, 1998.

It's Perfectly Normal: Growing Up, Changing Bodies, Sex and Sexual Health.
Harris, Robie H.
Cambridge, MA: Candlewick Press, 1994. (Ages 10 and up)

It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families.
Harris, Robie H. Illustrated by Michael Emberley.
Cambridge, MA: Candlewick Press, 1999. (All ages)