Connect more…with your teen’s emotions

Problem Solving

Teens need to question "the norm" to figure out what makes sense to them and learn how to think for themselves.
The age of adolescence is a challenging, yet exciting time. Facing it with a positive outlook and keeping in mind the role perception plays can help you to further understand your teen and make time together enjoyable.

Cool off first, then find a solution together
If you overreact or lose your cool, you diminish your control with your teen and escalate the conflict.
Avoid telling teens "this is how it's going to be."
Be respectful by asking for their perspective of the situation - and really listen to them.
Don't solve problems for them.
Our teens will not be living with us forever. To let them grow, look for opportunities for them to make their own decisions.

Put yourself in your teen’s shoes and ask your teen to do the same
This will show your teen you care about their views and opinions, and vice versa.
Many times teens (and you) may not have thought about the “other side” of the issue. It’s a healthy practice for any communication that occurs between you and others.

Allow them to take responsibility for their decisions
It’s difficult to watch your teen make decisions that result in catastrophe. As easy as it is to pick up the pieces, it’s equally easy to let them take responsibility for their decisions.
It’s important for teens to learn from their mistakes, or know the successes made are due to their decisions.

Look for ways to use silly humor with your teen
Tell a joke or humorous story to relieve a tense situation, but don't make fun of teens. Their self-esteem can be fragile.

Websites:
Shoulder-to-Shoulder Minnesota, Talking with Teens site www.shouldertoshoulderminnesota.org

Focus Adolescent Services
http://www.focusas.com/Parenting.html