College Transition

The transition from high school to college is an exciting time. However, no matter how prepared a student is, there are challenges -- for students and their parents!.

Freshman year is a time when many students begin to assert their own identities and test their decision making skills. This might mean your child comes home at break looking different or dressing differently; he or she may try out new ideas or values, trying to sort out what fits them best. You can help by listening to your child and offering suggestions (when asked).

Opportunities and challenges
Part of discovering who they are is testing new boundaries. For some students, this involves alcohol.

Talking with your son or daughter about alcohol is not an easy subject, but it is important for them to be aware of the consequences. Impaired judgment from drinking can lead to risky behavior causing academic, legal, and personal problems.

One misconception your son or daughter might have about college life is that everyone drinks. However, according to the 2002 Virginia Core Alcohol and Drug Survey, 74% of the college students drank once a week, less, or not at all.

ALCOHOL AND THE BRAIN
Current research indicates that the brain is still developing until the early - to mid 20s, and regular and heavy drinking impairs learning and memory. The effects of drinking on a night or weekend can possibly affect a teen for the rest of their life. Any of these long-lasting effects may reappear whenever the brain is stressed, not just when alcohol is present.

Where to draw the line
Young adults are held responsible for their decisions today. They need good information to make wise choices.
You are investing in your son or daughter's future by providing the information and support to help them make informed decisions.

Communication
Show you care when you talk to your son or daughter. He/she is maturing and college will bring more freedom. Be direct when discussing drinking at school, as well as issues of safety, money, responsibility, life skills, and academics. Along with expectations, it's important to discuss consequences. Students have a responsibility to their campus-community. Show your interest by continuing the dialog once he/she is on campus. You need to draw the line, but understand your son or daughter is growing up. Most of all, believe in your own power to help them avoid trouble.

• Be a role model
• Be factual and straightforward
• Information is always the best defense
• Avoid scare tactics
• Correct misconceptions

It is important to talk with your son or daughter often. You do not need to cover every topic in one conversation. Lecturing will get you nowhere - providing information is the key. Show your interest often by continuing the dialog once he/she is on campus.

Expect the best. The college campus is a service-rich environment that can assist your son or daughter with study skills, leadership development, volunteerism, career resources and time management. Set expectations about class attendance, study time vs. free time, how you will keep in touch, healthy ways to relieve stress and issues surrounding the illegal use of alcohol. For those of age, make sure they understand that it is easy to have fun at college without alcohol.

Valuable information. Your family's values have never been more important than now. You may feel your student knows your family values, but it is a good idea to restate your values and expectations. Young adults rely heavily upon parental opinions and values. Your first-year student needs to know how to relate the values you have instilled to the choices he/she will be facing.

Priorities. Set clear and realistic expectations regarding grades. Studies show that heavy drinking may contribute to a student's grades declining. If students are convinced their parents expect solid academic work, they are more likely to pay attention to their studies which will give them less time to get involved with drinking. Also, remind your son or daughter that he/she is responsible for sleeping habits, health, nutrition, and sexuality. All things considered can have an impact on getting good grades.

More means less. Alcohol is associated with missed classes and poor performance causing lowers GPAs. The more drinks a student has each week, typically, the lower the GPA. If you are concerned about poor grades, consider addressing study time and the possible use of alcohol with your son or daughter.

Safe and secure. Help your son or daughter understand their right to be safe. Others who drink can affect students who do not drink. This can cause problems like interrupted study time, assault or unwanted sexual advances. Students should discuss the problem with the offender when possible. If that fails, they should ask campus security for help by contacting the counseling center, residence assistant, academic advisory, student health, or campus police/security.

Don't tell tales. Your son or daughter may interpret stories of drinking during college as approving of dangerous alcohol consumption. Be honest when asked, but avoid glamorizing high-risk use.

Common sense. Make sure your student understands that alcohol can be toxic and alcohol poisoning can kill. Ask your son or daughter to have the common sense and self-confidence to intervene when they see someone risking their life by drinking dangerously.

Volunteering. Encourage your student to volunteer in the community. If helps structure free time, and provides students with a broader outlook and a healthier respect for their lives. Students may contact the Student Affairs Office on campus for information on volunteering opportunities.

Making it clear. Underage drinking and alcohol impaired driving are against the law. You should openly tell your son or daughter you disapprove of underage drinking, dangerous alcohol consumption, driving while under the influence of alcohol and riding in a car with an impaired driver.

Non-alcoholic centered events. Events centered on fun are more frequent at college than in the past three years. Service learning trips are becoming increasingly popular alternatives to the traditional spring and fall break programs. Students can contact the Student Affairs Office on campus for information on programs and how to get involved in planning them.

DWYSYWD (Do What You Say You Will Do). Help your son or daughter think through ways they will handle certain situations before they face them on campus and teach them DWYSYWD. You can help them prepare successfully for the unexpected.

source: 2006 Virginia's Guide for Parents of First-Year College Students, the Virginia Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC). Used by permission.